Holiday fun

Sorry so late with the pictures, but now that I'm back to work it has been crazy.  I wake up at 5:00am, feed Lucia, get her dressed, get myself dressed, and head out the door by 6:30am.  Then I don't get home with my kiddos until 6:30-6:45pm, eat, play, baths, bottle and snack, pump, shower, and finally bed!  One day!

Christmas was fun.. It was very magical for Nico this year.  He wanted to decorate every inch of the house, listen to and sing Christmas music every day, and couldn't wait for Santa to come see him and Lucia.

Below are some pics from the past month.  I will get back into the swing of things soon, I hope!

Enjoy this holiday season with your loved ones.  Play with your kids, love your hubby or significant other, and most of all give thanks!  It is because of Him we are here and should celebrate his birth.

thankful

Happy Thanksgiving to all!  Today is going to be a great day.  We are going to have a house full of family and good food. You can't beat that!

What are you thankful for today, and every day?

I am thankful for my family.  I am blessed to have a wonderful husband that is caring, loving, funny, sometimes annoying, but he is the love of my life and can't see, nor would I want to see, what my life would be like without him.

I am thankful for my the gift the Lord has given me of three beautiful babies. I am thankful for getting to meet and love Brody even if it was for a short period of time.  I am thankful for my Nico Pico!  Nico wears his heart on his sleeve and is sensitive, loving, and ALL boy at the same time.  I have never met a little boy that cared so much how the people around him feel.  If they are sad, he gets sad and wants to make them happy.  He will tell you that it will all be ok and he will take care of you. Love this Lil' man.

I am thankful for my Lucia.  She is a good baby and keeps me on my toes.  She will be completely content and go from 0 to 60 in a blink of an eye.  She is smiley and talks all the time and knows what she wants.  If she wants to be held, you will know and will continue to know until it's done.  I can't wait to see what we have in store with this little one.


Lucia is now 2 months old, : (  She will be starting daycare on Monday and it's digging at me.  I am not ready for her to go.  All I keep thinking is, "they don't know her like us".  UGH!!! It's driving me nuts. I am praying for peace with this.

Lucia had her 2 month check up yesterday.  She is growing great and hitting all her milestones. She is 22.5 inches long, 10lbs,13 oz, and had the Ayars noggin in the 70% ; )  She gained about 2 pounds in a month.  Growing WAY. TOO. FAST!

I hope everyone realizes there is so much to be thankful for this day and everyday.  We can't lose sight of the good things the Lord puts in our lives by focusing on the bad and what we don't have.  We are meant to suffer and trust in Him.  Happy Thanksgiving to all!!

fun and fear

It has been a great six weeks with Lucia in our family.  There's lots of love from Nico, and lots of cuddles and just overall we feel blessed to all have eachother.  It's weird because you can't remember what life was like without her. It's like we have all been together forever.

Yesterday Lucia turned six weeks and gave us a big scare!  I was changing her diaper and she was crying because she was letting me know it was time to eat.  As soon as I finished and picked her up, she stopped and I sat down to feed her.  I looked down at her and something was wrong!  She was arching her back, stiff arms and legs, and went completely cross eyed not responding to me.  Something was wrong and I didn't know what to do.  I ran into Grammy's room with Lucia for her to call 911 as I kept trying to snap Lucia out of it.  I started patting her back and just put her on my chest to try and calm her and finally, which seemed like forever, she stopped arching and her eyes finally went back to normal.  Casey was on the phone with 911 and they were going to send an ambulance to come get her, but we just hopped in the car and headed to AI hospital as quickly as we could, the whole time I am trying not to lose it but what I wanted to do was cry my eyes out. I felt like I couldn't talk because I felt like I couldn't breathe.  My heart was in my throat and I just wanted Lucia to be ok.

As soon as we got to the hospital, they registered us and took us back pretty quick.  Grammy and Pop pop met us there and stayed in the waiting room the whole time.  As soon as we got back there my mind started racing,  Did she have a seizure, is she ok, is this going to happen again, is there something wrong with my baby, LORD not again, and so on... I had to keep it together and not freak out.

The nurse came back, made us strip her down to her diaper and they gave us the smallest hospital gown possible, which was still WAY to big.  I was just holding her and all I wanted to do was feed her and take her home.  The nurse checked her and said, it sounded like a seizure and I couldn't feed her because she would have to get tests done and one may have required her to be sedated.  They were now sending the neurologist down.  A neurologist in her fellowship came down and said it didn't sound like a seizure and would have the head neurologist come down to check her to be sure, but we may need to get a few test done.  Then the physician came in and said they were going to keep her over night to watch her. Again, my heart beating in my throat, I just held her to me, praying in my mind.  We were now waiting for the pediatric neurologists to come in and tell us what was next.

In came Dr. Bean.  Imagine an older man in his 70's with a bow tie and carrying around a doctor's bag. The bag from those movies when they would come to the house to check you out and treat you.  He completed an exam and the whole time he seemed so thrilled with Lucia saying, "perfect" and "beautiful".  He said she was completely healthy, no tests required, and we could take her home.  He thought that she may of been choking and that is the reason for the arching and stiffening of the body.  He said her eyes may have crossed from her being stressed choking, but she is fine and we could take her home.  When Dr. Bean walked out of the room Casey looked at me and said you remember him, and it hit me!  Dr. Bean had once given us the worst news of my life.  He was the doctor that told us Brody has sever hemeraging in his brain and was not going to make it.  Now yesterday, gave me some of the best news that our lil girl is perfectly fine!  How bitter sweet.  All I know is I thank the Lord for taking care of Lucia and our family.  Then I could finally breathe.  I got home, got in the shower, and finally cried my eyes out.  What a day

one month, already!

Hard to believe, but Lucia is already one month old!  It's already going too fast : (

So a little about this girl... She loves her food!  Lucia eats every 3 -4 hours and not a minute later. She will let you know if you are running late ; )

She is a good sleeper, loves to look at her big brother, and has SO much attitude already.  This little one doesn't cry, she yells!  This is usually when she wants to eat and I am trying to change her first.  There are never any tears, just a YELL!  What am I in for with this one?!

Right now Lucia and I are sleeping in the kids' room, until I can get her to sleep through the night.  She's almost there getting her last feeding at 11pm and waking up around 4 or 5am, then going right back down until 8am.  Nico is getting to sleep in bed with Daddy, which he loves, but makes sure to come into the room with Lucia as early as possible to get his snuggles in.

Everyone keeps asking me, "is Nico jealous, how is he handling it".  Well, I have ever seen a child SO in love with his sister.  He wants to hold her, kiss her, feed her, and yes... change her diaper!  As soon as he gets home from school, he runs in the door yelling," Mommy, Lucia, where are you?"  It's all love and affection until bed time.

I love my family.  It has been a little hard for me as it probably is for any mom.  I just don't feel like I belong to myself right now.  Feeding, pumping,  cleaning, then all over again. But! it's all worth it. 

lucia brielle ayars

She has arrived!  7lbs 4oz and 21in long, ms Lucia Brielle Ayars!  It was a long 4 days in the hospital.  It's always hard when you have nurses and doctors trying to tell you what you should do with your baby, but we have been home since Thursday and wow, SO much better.  I am working on getting this lil one on a schedule and so far so good.  She gets her last feeding around 11pm and has been waking up only once, at 4am for a feeding then going right back to sleep until 8am.  Hopefully this will last : )

Lucia is a quiet content baby that only fusses when she wants food or if she needs a diaper change.  She loves her big brother, smiling when she hears him and daddy, and is just so precious.  I was worried about how life would be with another kid, not being able to focus all my attention on my boy and him having to "share" me.  Nico has really surprised me.  He loves this little girl more than you would think.  He can't stand to hear her cry and gets sad if she does.  he is very prtective if someone tries to pick her up saying, " NO, she's comfortable."  He is sure to tell EVERYONE not to touch her head because it's soft and to not touch her belly button.  He is extremely helpful getting mommy diapers, wipes, and anything he thinks she may need.  He has grown so much.  I love him so much and Lucia is one lucky girl!